Saturday, August 25, 2012

সবুজ চোখ থেকে পিঁপড়ে


সবুজ চোখ থেকে পিঁপড়ে...

দুপুরে ঘুম থেকে উঠে আয়নায় নিজের দু-চোখের সাদা অংশটা সবুজ দেখেই মনটা খারাপ হয়ে গেল। দু-এক বার চোখ পিটপিট করি। প্রথমে মনে হল অর্ধজাগরণের ভ্রান্তি। চুপিসারে চোখে কন্ট্যাক্ট লেন্স লাগিয়ে দিয়েছে কেউ, যখন ছিলাম ঘুমের ঘোরে। খানিক পরে বুঝি, তা নয়। মনে হল, তবে বুঝি রঙ লাগিয়ে গিয়েছে কেউ। একটু কাঁদি। চোখের জলে ধুয়ে যাবে সব। কাঁদার চেষ্টা করতে প্রথমে শুধু শ্বাসের শব্দ দ্রুত ও সুতীক্ষ্ণ হতে থাকল। তারপর পিঁপড়ে বেরতে থাকল চোখ দিয়ে। পিঁপড়েগুলোও সবুজ। এবার আমি ভয় পেয়ে গেলাম।
প্রথমে মায়ের কথা মনে পড়েনি। মনে পড়ল মায়ার কথা। তাকে সবাই মায়া বলে  ডাকে বলে আমি নাম রেখেছি নিয়তি। কখনও ডাকি ছায়া বলে। সে আমায় ছায়া দ্যায়। আমার ভয় হল, হাসলে কি ছায়ার দাঁতগুলোও এরকম সবুজ দ্যাখাবে? সে কি আমার এই অবস্থা দেখে উতলা হয়ে উঠবে না? তার পরেই ময়ের কথা মনে এল। মনে পড়তেই যেন অবশ হয়ে গ্যালো শরীরটা। মা নিশ্চই কেঁদে ফেলবে। ভাবতেই আমারও কান্না পেল। চোখ দিয়ে আরও কিছু পিঁপড়ে গড়িয়ে পড়ল। বাবা নিশ্চই চিৎকার চ্যাঁচামেচি শুরু করে দেবে। জ্যাঠা দৌড়োদৌড়ি। ভাই এসে জিজ্ঞেস করে যাবে, “কিরে, কিভাবে হল? উল্টোপাল্টা কিছু খেয়েছিলি? রাস্তায় কোথাও পিঁপড়েদের আস্তানার আসেপাশেই শুয়ে পড়িসনি তো মদের ঘোরে?
আমি জানি আমি কোন কথা বলতে পারবো না। শুধু অপেক্ষায় থাকব। কখন, কেউ, কোনো ডাক্তারকে নিয়ে আসে। গলার কাছটায় যা আটকে আছে তা-ও কি পিঁপড়ের ড্যালা? কিন্তু পিঁপড়েগুলো আসছে কোথা থেকে? ওরা কি মাথার ভিতর, ঘিলুতন্ত্রে? অবসন্ন যে মাথা যন্ত্রনাটা আমায় কুঁরেকুঁরে খাচ্ছিল, তা-ও কি এ-জন্যই?
নিয়তি আমায় ছায়া দ্যায়। কিন্তু ও গাছের ফল আমার জন্য নয়। বাগান তো আর আমার নয়। তার চাঁদোয়ার নিচে সে আমায় দু-দন্ড বসতে দ্যায়। গুঁড়িতে হ্যালান দিতে দ্যায়। গাছ থেকে কোনও ফল কি নিচে পড়ে গেছিল কাল? আমি কি, তুলে, খেয়ে নিয়েছিলাম আনমনে? অ্যাতো পিঁপড়ে কি ছিল ওই ফলের ভিতরই? নিষেধের বেড়াজাল ডিঙোলে একটা মূল্য চোকাতেই হয়। কিন্তু আমি কি আদৌ কোনো ফল খেয়েছিলাম, না সেটা নিতান্তই মায়া? কিছুই বুঝতে না-পারায় অস্বস্তি সূচক ক্রমশ চড়তে থাকে। গলার কাছটায় অস্বস্তিটা ক্রমশ বাড়তে থাকায় এবার মনে হয় গলায় আঙ্গুল দিয়ে বমির চেষ্টা করা দরকার। 
(চলবে)


Saturday, July 21, 2012

Mocking mirror

I found in the mirror the rainbow peddler was mocking at me

There is a feel of ecstasy in painful void, u may know

The all-alone man is freed from all expectations

Yet in him grows expectations from himself

And he cannot live without the co-habitants

This morning I hugged myself to rest

And closed my eyes

At times one alone becomes four shoulders

To carry the weight of his death and perform the ri...tes

But I’m an aimless joker eaten up by fame

And I haven’t yet seen much of life

And I can fit myself inside the grains of mashed grass

Where in the reflection of darkness I hope to see through my soul

I hear the loudness of silence uttering empty words of love

But I know emptiness means possibility of the most

And while Narcissus found his mirror in water

I found in water the momentum to break all images

Saturday, September 3, 2011

I saw myself being shot

Aloof in the sky I saw my hanging eyes
From a terrace upon a tree I climbed to jump
To fly off with the dream of a deathless life
I breached the barrier preaching the fire
Seeking warmth for my frozen heart
But the icy breeze said I must wait for my turn
I saw myself being shot
On the highway to the country sides
Can’t be sure whether it was my evil or I
They told me you need patience to reach heaven
But in a hurry I threw stones at a peacock
To see whether it dances -
And the stones only killed it -
Now my head is boiling like flesh melting like wax
I’ve unclothed myself but I could not unseat my tormenting heart
‘Dream as if you have become a mother,’ the clown joked
And provoked me to follow his trails
I tried to sniff my kidney stumbled upon my own bones
But there is no trace of blood in my hand
I’m trying to eat whatever remained undigested
There is nothing to mourn
And I’ll now lay the rest upon the sand
Waiting for my indomitable spirit to help me arise again
With death in my mind and life in my eyes

Monday, May 23, 2011

Obsession spectacle

Obsession spectacle

1.

A clown hit my head with a bottle of dreams and broke into laughter
I pierced his eyes with fantasies about an extinct world
For Hindus, giving shoulder means carrying the dead so I offered him shoulder
And he threw me a kiss of majestic solitude
We exchanged garlands of faithful traitorship
We started walking towards the sand-house called asylum

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Silent activism

Silent activism

A nonstop chaos noise argument freak’s monologue
And construction of an omnipotent grand frog ploughing through my head
I can understand all these utterances constructions
Are encircling me inside a status quo of speed only
You speak too much, ohh, too much I say,
“Be silent, soundless
Write life write life”
Ohh, you have made
A colourful scholar monkey of
Memories knowledge information and theories
Stand between life and moments!

Tell me, of what use will your blood-like pale body come to me?
Will history be smelled during the cremation?
Cast your eyes on a point
There lies self-identity
Listen to the silence
There is the beginning of world music and the creation process
Otherwise man turns blind
In the habit of looking himself through others’ eyes
Deafness and other deadly symptoms --
Your safety-seeking life will thus get entry inside a huge suitcase

Look, the illuminated stage is actually a platform for selling chicks!

Be silent, calm, humble
Come back from the fair and celebrations, enough you had—
Those gloss colour crowd celebration
Trade calculations praise and speeches
None of the preparations centering you are for you actually—
Softly climb down the bison of
Selfish spiritlessness
And
See, the road has proceeded in silence touching the signs and senses of life

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

INSPIRATION SONG

INSPIRATION SONG

HEY O! DON’T DESPAIR IN THIS LAND OF BURNING SAND!
ONE HAS TO SWITCH FROM DREAMS TO REALITY YOU SEE
COME, DIP, IT’S FRESH WATER, WASH DIRTY MOUTH HAIR AND SKIN
PREPARE FOR THE JOURNEY AHEAD SHAKE HANDS FEEL FREE
THERE IS OASIS IN EVERY DESERT
YOU MAY NOT GET BEER AND WINE TO GO HIGH
BUT YOU KNOW IT’S TOO BAD TO DIE DRY
TAKE WHATEVER WATER OFFERS YOU TO SOOTHE THE HURT
I MET A KID WHO STOLE MY CLOSET LONELINESS AND SILENCE
AND PULLED ME OUT IN THE SUN
SHE RODE MY BACK LIKE A JOCKEY AIMED HER TOY GUN
HIT ME WITH A MARADONA BALL TORE MY HAIR WITH ALL INNOCENCE
THEN I SAW HER PARENTS COMING TO TAKE HER ALONG
AND I FELT AGAIN COLD MORBID A-LONE
“DON’T CRY!” READ ME THE KID, SAID, “I WANNA HEAR YOUR SONGS
BUT PLEASE DON’T CRY EVEN AFTER I’M GONE!”
NOW WHAT TO SAY WHAT TO SIGH
THESE GEMS OF MOMENTS MAKE ME CONCURRENTLY SMILE AND CRY
SO WE SANG WE PLAYED AND DISCUSSED THE TALES
AND WE DECIDED WE’D CONNECT THROUGH THE CELESTIAL MAIL!
I DESIRED TO PLAY MORE AND ADORE SHE WAS SO LOVABLE
I KNEW THE KID FOUND IT FUN BUT HER PARENTS SMELLED TROUBLE
THEN THE CHILD WAS GONE AND I SAT LIKE A NEWBORN
THERE WERE TEARS OF JOY AND SORROW IN MY EYES
“I’M GLAD TO MEET YOU BABE, I UNDERSTAND YOUR COMPULSION!
AND HERE STARTS THE WAIT FOR ANOTHER SUCH MOMENT TO ARISE!”
IT’S EARTH AND I HAD A BIRTH BEYOND MY CONTROL
LOOK INTO THE NOOKS AND YOU MAY FIND IN A CLOSET YOUR SOUL
GASPING FOR BREATH BREAK THE CAGE LET THE FIRE DO IT’S CAPACITY
KNOW YOUR LENIENCE KNOW THE ALMIGHTY
TAKE THE BURN OR YOU’LL NEVER LEARN HOW TO TAKE THE HEAT
HIDE YOUR FACE AND HEART AND YOU STILL PAY A FORFEIT
THE BURNING SENSATION MAY INVOKE PASSION FOR TRUTHS AND LIES
IF YOU DIE, THAT’S OKAY, IT’S JUST TOMORROW OR TODAY
BUT IF YOU BEAR AND SURVIVE AND ACCEPT THAT SUCH IS LIFE
YOU KNOW HOW TO FLY THROUGH THE HELL WALK THROUGH THE SKY!

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Long walk

Long walk

I JUST SAW MY FAVOURITE PAGES OF AN ON-THE-MAKING BOOK BURN
JUST SPOTTED YELLOW PATCHES ON MY FACE
A MORGUE IN MY CHEST AND POLICE STATION IN HEAD
I CLOSE MY EYES AND ANGELS SMILE I OPEN THEM AND DEMONS CHASE
THERE IS A DEVIL IN MY EYES
THERE ARE REASONS WHY YOU ALL SIGH (AT ME)
I STILL SMILE AND YOU WORRY MORE
AS YOU SEE I’M BLIND AND WALKING ROUGH TOWARDS THE SHORE
THE FREAK IS WALKING ON THE CORNICE OF A MULTISTORIED ROOF
AND EVERYBODY KNOWS THERE IS NOTHING TO DO
IF THE FREAK IS SO SCREWED TO WALK SO HIGH
WHERE HE IS FURTHER TO THEM ALL THAN THE SKY
IT’S A LOST CASE YOU SEE HE DREAMT OF PLAYING WITH THE MOON
IN A DEATH CEREMONY HE THOUGHT HE WAS THE GROOM!
WHY DON’T START PELTING STONES AT HIM HELP HIM DIE
BEFORE HE LAUNCHES ON MORE CIRCUSS ON AN UNCERTAIN SUICIDE?
YOU SAY IT’LL BREAK MY HEART AS I LOVE HIM
BUT I SAY I’M HEARTLESS ITS JUST A PUMPING MACHINE
TICKLING ON FOR A NUMB’S PHYSICAL EXISTANCE
IT JUST SEES CAN’T CATCH A FEEL OR A SENSE
I’LL WITNESS THESE ALL IN SILENCE AND TRY TO GET CALM
MY EMOTIONAL CIRCUSS SELF-MOCKERY
THROUGH THE HOLE ON MY PALM
I SAW A FLOCK OF BIRDS DIVE INTO FIRE
YOU MAY NOT BELIEVE ME,
’M A FAITHFUL TRAITOR A BORN LIAR!
WE GROW STONES WHEN BLOOD CATCHES COLD
NO ONE WILL UNDERSTAND MY LANGUAGE
UNTILL THEY SEE THE SKULL ROLL
A CLAUSTROPHOBIC MESS MY STINKING SKIN’LL SUFFOCATE YOU
ON THE RUN I HIT A WALL WRITTEN “TABOO!”
CHILDREN AND ANGELS WERE PLAYING
ON THE OTHERSIDE OF THE WALL IN A GARDEN
I LOOKED STILL A GUARD SPOTTED ME FROM A WATCHTOWER
AND SPRAYED BULLETS IN MY BRAIN
I SAW DARK THEN WHITE AND FINAL GLIMPSE WAS A SMILE OF A MATE
I BREATHED I WHISTLED I SMILED ON THE TREBLE
DESPITE IMMENSE POSSIBILITY OF CREATING OWN FATE
THERE IS AN IMPRINT ON OUR FOREHEAD READING “IMPOSSIBLE!”