Snigdhendu Bhattacharya

I saw myself being shot

Aloof in the sky I saw my hanging eyes
From a terrace upon a tree I climbed to jump
To fly off with the dream of a deathless life
I breached the barrier preaching the fire
Seeking warmth for my frozen heart
But the icy breeze said I must wait for my turn
I saw myself being shot
On the highway to the country sides
Can’t be sure whether it was my evil or I
They told me you need patience to reach heaven
But in a hurry I threw stones at a peacock
To see whether it dances -
And the stones only killed it -
Now my head is boiling like flesh melting like wax
I’ve unclothed myself but I could not unseat my tormenting heart
‘Dream as if you have become a mother,’ the clown joked
And provoked me to follow his trails
I tried to sniff my kidney stumbled upon my own bones
But there is no trace of blood in my hand
I’m trying to eat whatever remained undigested
There is nothing to mourn
And I’ll now lay the rest upon the sand
Waiting for my indomitable spirit to help me arise again
With death in my mind and life in my eyes